I was sitting at my computer one Sunday morning, drinking my coffee, checking my e mails, waiting for time to go to Church, when my phone rang. It was my co worker, Frank. He was in town and wanted to know if I would like to go to breakfast. I told him that I had already eaten breakfast, he kept insisting that I meet him. I politely told him that I was going to Church, would he like to go with me. He told me that he needed to be hitting the road. I said to him, “if you are still around I should be getting out about noon, I would let you pick me lunch.” He told me he would more than likely be gone by then. I told him that I would catch up with him next time. I went on to Church after Church I went to my vehicle, got inside and my phone was ringing. I had told him a place that he could park his tractor trailer and I would pick him up. I answered the phone and he was talking already, telling me to hold on, he would be right there. I told him, calm down, I am about 15 minutes from there myself. We met up at the parking space and he got into my vehicle. We headed towards food, the place we had talked about was slammed full of cars, so I suggested a little Mexican restraunt that I knew a little farther away. He agreed and we started towards it. We chose the patio, it was still pretty warm outside, but a much more relaxing atmosphere. We sat there visiting. It was so apt to see someone from home, someone that was part of my life before all of the sobering events of the past few months. It was spacious to relax and visit. I was able to put my guard down and just enjoy conversation. We had a lot to talk about, he updated me on all the new things that were going on with the company. I loved my job. I didn’t want to quit, but when we made the decision to move to Texas a couple of years before, obviously it was no longer an option. When we finished eating and had left the restraunt, we headed back towards his truck. We stopped at a small convenience store so he could get drinks for the road and I could glean some gas in my vehicle. We were laughing and joking, something I had not done in a very long time. It was Frank, he was safe. We got abet in my vehicle and I asked him what he wanted to do. He looked at me and said “I want to exercise time with you”. I thought nothing of it as I was enjoying the company. I informed him that if that were the case that he would have to ride to my house with me so I could change clothes and get comfortable. We got to my house I changed clothes and we sat and actually talked. It was the first time that I had actually had a conversation with him that didn’t involve our jobs. I saw him as a person. We were sitting there talking and he said to me “you either need to take me to bed or take me to my truck”. I said okay, grabbed my car keys and headed for the door. I was standing in the middle of my living room, I will never forget this, when it hit me, you are single, you could do this if you want. Up to that point in my life I was still married to Tommy, I had taken my wedding rings off sometime ago, but it had never really registered. YOU ARE SINGLE! I honest stood there.

We went support to his truck via the lake, I needed to show him the lake. I guess it is the serenity of the water. We sat and talked for a while longer and then headed towards his truck. We got there and there was a silence in the air. We had both discovered something that day and neither of us wanted to let it go. I asked him about his load that was supposed to be in Illinois the next day, it didn’t matter. Something would not let us say goodbye. We sat in my vehicle for a long time talking, neither of us quite sure how to end the day. Out of nowhere I spoke up, If you stay, your life will change forever. I had no idea where that came from. I was thinking of the past few months and a silent tear slid down my cheek. He reached across and silently wiped it off with his hand. A few moments of silence passed and I spoke up. I said, you have five minutes, I knew in my heart what I wanted and so did he, neither one of wanted to embrace what was happening, but at the same time we wanted it worse than anything in this world. He fumbled with the door, trying to get out and get his bag…..I had to be at work the next day at noon so around 1100am I dropped him off at his truck. I went to work. The emotions that I had felt the night before were still showing on my face. I am sure I was glowing, definitely grinning from ear to ear and level-headed in shock. This was Frank, who knew what he held deep in his heart. He had all of the traits that I was looking for in a man. He was so very different than anyone I had ever been with. I worked that day with a whole new outlook on life, actually blissful for the first time in years. Confused with this new found excitement. (in a good way). A few hours later, I received a phone call from Frank. He was chattering with an excitement in his yell I had not heard before. He called to say me that he wanted to marry me, that he was in love with me. Holy Toledo! I was in shock, but he was all I had thought about in the past few hours. I knew in my heart it was the right thing to do. It felt good, there were no questions, no doubts and no fears. I was feeling young again, full of life. He immediately started to figure out how to get back to Texas. I need to add that Frank had been in a very unhappy marriage for many years, I had known about his trials from working with him. He always looked mad, sounded mad…it was all gone. Frank was a talker, he stayed in touch with family, friends, coworkers. All of a sudden he was unavailable to most. He would check in with the kids and then he would be on the phone with me. Thank God for mobile to mobile. We talked. (sometimes we talked until one of us fell asleep)We talked about everything, there were not any topics that were off limits.( His job had a home time policy, you had to put in for it, and it usually was about six weeks, he had put in for home time in Texas soon after he left. )He continued to truck, we continued to talk. My schedule allowed me a lot of time that I could talk with him. We got to know each other. I learned a few things about him over the course of that six week time period. He was a family man. His kids were the most important thing in his life. He had high moral values, he was everything I was looking for. He had stayed in his sorry marriage to raise his kids, that was of the utmost importance to him. He took fatherhood seriously, regardless of how it affected his own happiness. As the weeks went slowly by his kids, coworkers, friends all knew something was different about Frank. He had a happiness that overwhelmed him and it was carried out in his voice, his mannerisms, his everything.

Finally, the day had come, he would be within two hours of me and as soon as he finished delivering he would be coming home. Home, wow, what a concept. It wasn’t just me alone he was coming home. I decided to meet him before he actually delivered. So, after I got off of work, I went home, showered, changed clothes and headed north. It was about the same distance for each of us, so we arrived within minutes. The reunion was awesome. I had heard this voice on my phone for the past six weeks, I couldn’t believe how everything was working out, I had to have right, I had real. It was awesome. I headed succor to work and he went to get his load delivered. He came straight to my job when he finished and it was now time for me to introduce the man that had changed my whole world. We spent the next few days getting to know each other.. The time had went by so fast, we could not get enough of each other. I had been introduced to Mom on the phone, spoke with fragment of his kids. Soon it was time for him to go assist to work We knew that we could not stand the thought of being apart, Frank turned in his two week notice. This was not an easy decision for him, he loved his job, he needed his job for his child support and health insurance, but he had found something so noteworthy more precious than even that. He had found his own happiness. Something he had never had in his life.

While he was on his home time the previous month he had bought a pickup. However, it was in west Texas, I was in central Texas. He had devised a notion, he would pay the gas for the kids to drive it over to him and that way they could meet me, actually I had met all but one of his kids, because of working in the office. He would bring them one at a time out on the road during the summer. We set a date. I would drive to Omaha, Ne and pick him up and then they would come over the following weekend.

I waited impatiently for that day to arrive. I had not driven anywhere alone, especially that distance, however I had traveled that road many times. ( I always pray before I start a journey and this time was no different). I made it through all the major cities between here and there, in characterize time. We spent most of the trip talking on the phone, that helped to pass the time. I arrived in Omaha, Ne about twelve hours after I had left Texas. It was great to glimpse him again. We moved his stuff from the truck to my pickup and visited some friends and headed out on Sunday to start our modern life together. There were a lot of little things that Frank had to gather used to, from the blueprint he had been treated for the past twenty years to having weekends in his life again.

It was on Wednesday before the “weekend” that his oldest daughter called and asked if she could approach a day early. She came over the next day. We met and it was love at first sight. I wish I could say it went as well with my grandson, but that is not the case. It was over removing a straw from the paper. He was old enough, he didn’t need my wait on (4 at the time). We rapid moved past that. Friday saw more of the kids, they arrived late in the evening. We stayed up late visiting, getting to know each other. I became Mom, not step mom, but Mom to these kids. They had chosen me to be their mom.The weekend flew by way to snappy, I was accepted by most, loved by all. We had a few issues to work through, with me going from being alone to a house corpulent of kids and grandkids. There was much laughter at the table and through out that house. Halls of silence were now scattered with toys, sounds of laughter. The kids saw a side of their dad they had never seen, he was somehow a changed man. Frank’s eldest son had felt that same feeling, he clung to me. It was like he couldn’t get enough attention. His eldest daughter had immediately started calling me mom. His youngest daughter wasn’t quite so sure, she is still in the “all about me” stages. I had to keep reminding myself “who is the adult here”. They left way late on Sunday for their 6 hour drive home, it seems that nobody wanted to say goodbye.

The house seemed really quiet now, but that was okay. We had time to work on more “firsts”, time to soak up the events of the weekend and each other.

Frank found a local job, for that he paid a note, he no longer drove a fancy truck, gave up his chance to visit his family, but in turn he now had a life and a woman that truly loved him, I loved him more than life itself. It showed. It was in every hello, every move, every gesture. His new coworkers expeditiously grew to like him, they knew one thing from the start, he was in esteem with me and he was always trying to work harder to win back home to be with me. (this is a man that had given up on women, he wanted no part of any type of relationship). Frank was driving home from a run one afternoon, in a hurry and got pulled over for speeding. He was issued a ticket. Somehow the subject got around to wanting to get married….Not sure how that all came together, but okay.

We spot a date, November 11, 2005, called the kids, it was going to be just a few of us and the JP. Well, it turned out that the kids came, my best friend from Houston, and a cousin from Tommy’s family that I grew very close to. We had a simple yet beautiful wedding. When we arrived help at our home, I was taken aside and told by the men (son, and son in law) that I was the best thing that could have happened to Frank. They had never seen him so jubilant as long as they had known him. They welcomed me to the family and told me no matter what, I was stuck with all of them. I was the happiest I had ever been. I had a husband that loved me, kids, grandkids. Life was almost complete.

Over the course of the past few weeks I had grown pretty close to Frank’s mom. They (mom & dad) had decided they had to meet this woman that had changed their son’s life. They decided to come to Texas for Frank’s birthday November 19. Frank’s mom and I had discussed what my intentions with Frank were, I had mentioned that I felt that it was my job to bring him back to God. He had been a church going kid and something happened and he had been asked to leave. He was heart broken. One of the things that was a priority on my list was and composed is God. We had been going to church regularly, it was becoming his priority too. We got the call, they were on their way. Frank was on pins and needles, waiting to introduce his current bride to mom and dad. They arrived while I was at work. They were waiting for me when I returned home. The introductions were made and it was like we had been family forever.

Life continued to get better and better, we were a walking love chronicle, everyone could eye the treasure that we had for each other. I had applied for a job that I could work during the day and be home in the evenings with my new husband and enjoy my newfound life. I was accepted for the position and was due to open December 1. We spent Thanksgiving alone, enjoying each others company. The kids wanted to reach, but jobs and the flu said different. We were okay with that, it gave us more time to be together. We visited with Tommy’s family some and then went on to visit another cousin of Tommy’s. We ended up spending the night there after having a couple of beers and playing cards late into the night.

December 1, saw me starting a new job. One of the things Frank had told me was that he had never had dinner on the table when he arrived home from work. I surprised him that evening. He got home from work and I was just putting the finishing touches on one of his favorite meals, spaghetti. We ate dinner and sat benefit on the couch, arms around each other watching one of the many movies that he had hand picked from his collection. This was the manner we spent most evenings. Some evening we would not even watch movies, they would be spent holding each other and talking. He knew me better than anyone had ever known me. He would ask a question and then wait for you to answer. He would listen to your answer as if to digest what he had just heard. We talked, we were on the phone from the time he backed out of the driveway till he arrived at work. I would shower and then talk to him while I drove to work. I would call at lunchtime and talk the whole hour. On my way home I would call and talk to him until he arrived home. We never grew tired of talking with each other.

We started to have plans, dreams, hopes. We were actually living. I had gone from the loneliest time of my life to a life that was filled with laughter, love and most of all, best of all family.

Frank’s youngest daughter had a birthday coming up. We went to east Texas to spend the day with her and her younger brother. We had a expedient day, there wasn’t the same relationship there as there was with the older kids, but all in all it went well. We went to see a movie and then went out and ate pizza afterwards. We took them shopping and then headed abet to my uncle’s house. My favorite uncle I might add. He is a wonderful man and loves to have company, good thing as I go there many times without warning.

We were fast approaching Christmas, we had made arrangements to go to west Texas to spend Christmas with the kids and grandbabies. We were going to have it at his eldest son’s home. He had moved into his possess home and it was a launch of a new tradition. However, there was still the runt matter of going Christmas shopping, we already had a good notion of what we were looking for. The last weekend before Christmas, Saturday to be exact found Frank working. They were trying to get a job done so he was required to work, he was in a frumpy mood, I asked him why? He quickly explained that his job was going to take him away from me on one of his few days alone with me. I smiled and said, we signed that paper, I can just go with you. He grinned from ear to ear and we left. It was a minute over 100 miles to the jobsite, we spent it talking in person this time, rather than on the phone like most mornings. We finished up, got back home. I was changing clothes, I had worn part of my coffee that morning and wanted to catch changed and catch the shopping out of the way. He on the other hand had planned a whole different type of a day. He got my robe, got his robe and then took me to the couch. We sat and watched the entire collection of X-Men movies. He had seen a flyer for a new movie that was to be released on May 26, 2006 and wanted me to be up to date. We had a wonderful day. I ended up doing most of the shopping while talking on the phone to him. I would tell him what I saw and he would agree to it or tell me otherwise. His job required him to stay out of town once in awhile. He had a load that he could not make it home with the amount of hours he had available. He spent the night out. While he was gone he pulled out the play station game he carried in his truck for those times when he had to wait on a job site. He was surprised to find that it had the date of the last time he had played. It was September, he had not touched it and had not missed it. This was a game that he had played many hours on, in the past few months he had found life to prefer up his time, real living. He was happier than he had ever been and so was I. He had arrived attend from his run and was delivering to a place that was on my way home. I saw his truck from the main road so stopped so I could get a hug and a kiss and then be on my way home to cook dinner, this had became part of our life now. I got my hug and kiss and then headed home. I got a call a little later, he was on his way home. Cool, dinner was almost finished. We ate dinner then it was time to get those presents wrapped. We wrapped the presents that we had, bathed the dogs and laid out our clothes for the next day. We would stop on our way to west Texas and attain up our shopping. We showered and went to bed. I was tired. He wanted to make love to me, the thought crossed my mind, wait until tomorrow. I don’t know why, but another part of me said now. Our cherish making had been intense from the beginning, this time was no different. When we were finished he would wrap his arms around me and we would drift off to sleep. Only this night was different, he complained of his arms feeling numb, I laid there as he go up and stood and shook his arms. The feeling came back. He then said that he felt like he had heartburn, I gave him some Tums not thinking anything of it. We had eaten spaghetti and garlic bread for dinner. He went and used the potty and came back in saying he felt a little better. He was going to go out to the living room and sit for awhile. He went out there, I laid there for a few minutes and then went to check on him He told me that his arms felt numb, a few moments earlier, I had told him he was scaring me. I got to the living room and he was just sitting on the couch. I cuddled up next to him and said again that his arms felt like they were going to sleep. Once again, I had been leaning on his arms……He said he felt better, I told him that I loved him and that I was going to go to bed, he replied, ” I’ll be there in a runt.” I went to the bathroom which was a few feet away. As I was walking out of the bathroom, I heard what I thought was snoring. I thought to myself, damn, that was awfully rapid. I walked to the couch and quickly realized that he was gasping for breath. I quickly called 911. I kept trying to accept him to breath. I started CPR and continued working on him until the paramedics arrived. It was too late he was gone. The love of my life, the new found happiness, the smiles the laughter, gone….